Excerpt from notes on Building a Christian Home
VI. The Children
A. Blessings from God.
1. Created according to God’s plan.
Genesis 1:28 And God blessed them, and God said unto them, Be fruitful, and multiply, and replenish the earth, and subdue it: and have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over every living thing that moveth upon the earth.
2. Children are given by God. Psalm 127,128.
3. Children’s needs are to be supplied by the parents. II Corinthians 12:14.
Proverbs 13:22 A good man leaveth an inheritance to his children’s children:….
B. Growth cycle. (raised unto the Lord).
C. Adulthood. (committed to the Lord)
Problem. Household revolves around the children instead of the husband/wife.
D. Discipline in the home.
The husband/father is responsible and will give an account to God. The father must understand the importance that God places on respect, reverence, submission, and obedience. In giving the Commandments God set forth man’s responsibility is to worship Him alone and give Him the reverence He is worthy of. Building upon this foundation worship and obedience to Himself, God commanded children to honour and obey their parents. Honour and obedience to God and honour and obedience to parents are necessary to have a right relationship with the community at large. Right actions (not stealing, not bearing false witness…) are meaningless without a right relationship with God and then with parents.
The father is responsible to build the child up on these foundational truths given by God.
1. The first step in right discipline is instruction in the right way to go.
a. Teaching God’s Word.
Psalms 119:9-11 BETH. Wherewithal shall a young man cleanse his way? by taking heed thereto according to thy word. With my whole heart have I sought thee: O let me not wander from thy commandments. Thy word have I hid in mine heart, that I might not sin against thee.
Psalms 119:89 LAMED. For ever, O LORD, thy word is settled in heaven.
Psalms 119:105 NUN. Thy word is a lamp unto my feet, and a light unto my path.
Psalms 119:130 The entrance of thy words giveth light; it giveth understanding unto the simple.
1). Paul commends Timothy’s mother for her teaching him as a child.
2 Timothy 1:5 When I call to remembrance the unfeigned faith that is in thee, which dwelt first in thy grandmother Lois, and thy mother Eunice; and I am persuaded that in thee also.
2 Timothy 3:15 And that from a child thou hast known the holy scriptures, which are able to make thee wise unto salvation through faith which is in Christ Jesus.
2). Solomon encourages the teaching of children.
Proverbs 1:8; 4:1,2; 6:20; 13:1; 15:5; 28:7. See also Malachi 1:6
b. Responsibility of complete education. (From notes from Fairfax Baptist Temple).
1). Education in Biblical perspective.
a). Education is to enable man to carry out his purpose on Earth and in eternity.
(1). To know the purpose of education we must know the purpose of man.
(2). Man’s purpose as designed by God is twofold:
(a). The first mandate.
. To be fruitful and multiply, and replenish. Genesis 1:28.
. To subdue and have dominion.
Psalms 8:6 Thou madest him to have dominion over the works of thy hands; thou hast put all things under his feet:
(b). The second mandate. (redemptive) Genesis 3:17-19
. Matthew 11:27-30. Come unto me
. Necessary because of the fall of man.
. By sin, the earth subdues man.
. Becomes the foundation of the Great Commission.
b). Accomplishing man’s purpose.
Matthew 6:33 But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you.
(1). What is the educational end product?
(a). To glorify God.
1 Corinthians 10:31 Whether therefore ye eat, or drink, or whatsoever ye do, do all to the glory of God.
(b). To be as much like Christ as possible.
. How to think and act Biblically.
. To be aware of His leading and heading toward a life of specialty.
. How to distinguish God’s wisdom from the wisdom of the world.
. How to live as a Christian citizen under a government that does not always abide by Biblical principles.
. Manifest the fruit of the Spirit.
(2). Incorporating the educational process – a parental responsibility.
(a). Deuteronomy 6:1-9
(b). Ephesians 6:1-4
(c). Proverbs 22:6
(d). Colossians 2:4-10
(3). God’s provision is complete for our lives.
(a). Where we are.
(b). For the present. – God knows your parental responsibility
(c). To meet our needs – God will meet your educational need.
2). Methods of Christian education.
a). Education must be Bible based.
b). Parents must stay involved in the education process.
c). Definition of education: The nature and process of communicating truth as well as
the result of having learned the truth.
d). Preparation of the soul.
(1). For eternity.
(2). For this world and the spiritual battle.
(a). Character molding.
. Wisdom = Biblical knowledge + application.
. A holy character must be developed from an unholy nature.
(b). Academic readiness.
. What is sufficient academic preparation?
[a]. Reading – to read and know God’s Word.
[b]. Communication – to witness effectively.
[c]. History – to gain perspective.
[d]. Mathematics – to obtain orderliness.
[e]. Science – to understand and subdue the natural world.
. All academics should be taught in order to glorify God.
2. The second step in discipline.
Note that this discipline is regularly used in every area of life and the child must be taught to respect authority.
1). Administered in holiness and in love.
a). Too much correction is administered in anger.
(1). It is not for the good of the child.
(2). It is an immediate release for the parent, not a positive learning
process for the child.
(3). It is not Biblical.
Ephesians 6:4 And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.
Colossians 3:21 Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged.
b). God’s example shows holiness and love.
Hebrews 12:6 For whom the Lord loveth he chasteneth, and scourgeth every son whom he receiveth.
(1). Withholding correction does not show for love.
(2). Correction shows concern for the persons welfare.
(a). God explains that discipline shows love.
Proverbs 13:24 He that spareth his rod hateth his son: but he that loveth him chasteneth him betimes.
(b). God has given senses to aid in education in preparing a child to live a God- honouring life.
It is possible for parents to create hostility and aggressiveness in their children by behaving violently themselves. If they scream and yell, lashing out emotionally, flailing the children for the accidents and mistakes, they serve as models for the children to imitate. That kind of parental violence is worlds apart for the proper disciplinary approach. However, when the child has lowered his head and clenched his fist, he is daring the parent to take him on. If the parent responds appropriately on the backside, he has taught the child a valuable lesson that is consistent with God’s natural method of instruction. Consider the purpose of pain in life. Suppose two year old Peter is pulling the tablecloth and with it comes a vase of roses which tips over the edge of the table, cracking him between the eyes. Peter is in great pain. From this pain he learns that it is dangerous to pull on the tablecloth. Likewise, he presses his arm against a hot stove and quickly learns that fire must be treated with respect….. for three or four years, he accumulates bumps and bruises and scratches and burns, each one teaching him to avoid making those same mistakes again. God created this mechanism as the child’s best vehicle for instruction. Dare to Discipline Dr. James Dobson. (Used by permission)
2). Administered consistently.
a). God’s justice is just and true. John 12:44-50
b). God’s justice is unchanging. John 1:1-5; Revelation 1:8
(1). He has revealed to us our responsibilities.
(2). He does not judge by man’s standard (which changes)
(3). Man needs to follow God’s standard.
(a). Makes the rules know, easy to be understood.
(b). Enforce them consistently.
2). Administered firmly.
a). More than discussion is involved.
(1). Discussion makes the rules known.
(2). Discussion makes the infraction (breaking of the rules) known.
b). Physical discipline is of God.
(1). To be administered in love.
(2). Pain is to be inflicted. (not injury)
(a). Enough to bring forth tears.
Proverbs 19:18 Chasten thy son while there is hope, and let not thy soul spare for his crying.
(b). Enough to bring forth repentance.
Note: Not a false remorse, only being sorry for being caught!
Hebrews 12:17 For ye know how that afterward, when he would have inherited the blessing, he was rejected: for he found no place of repentance, though he sought it carefully with tears.
(3). Right correction will show itself in Godly living.
b. Punishment. God will chasten the child in order to bring them to repentance.
Hebrews 12:5-11 And ye have forgotten the exhortation which speaketh unto you as unto children, My son, despise not thou the chastening of the Lord, nor faint when thou art rebuked of him: For whom the Lord loveth he chasteneth, and scourgeth every son whom he receiveth. If ye endure chastening, God dealeth with you as with sons; for what son is he whom the father chasteneth not? But if ye be without chastisement, whereof all are partakers, then are ye bastards, and not sons. Furthermore we have had fathers of our flesh which corrected us, and we gave them reverence: shall we not much rather be in subjection unto the Father of spirits, and live? For they verily for a few days chastened us after their own pleasure; but he for our profit, that we might be partakers of his holiness. Now no chastening for the present seemeth to be joyous, but grievous: nevertheless afterward it yieldeth the peaceable fruit of righteousness unto them which are exercised thereby.